Touching Base In Case You Get Rich

This Is Natural....Right?

2010-05-21T23:28:00.001-04:00

I feel disgusted that I haven't written. I promise, now that Fringe, Lost, V, 24, Community, and Modern Family are all said and done for the season, I will write more. Then again I can't promise that. I love you, but not that much.

I Don't Know YOU

2010-02-24T19:25:00.003-05:00

Am I the only one who thinks it's a bit awkward when you're talking to someone like you know them only to get a good grade? Yes? Well, fuck you. What if I was explaining a movie that you've never seen, to see?...Fuck you anyway.

Jeeze...the memeories of writing this just came flooding back. It was a Sunday and my mom was probably making fried chicken. This shit had to be 3 pages. 3 FUCKING PAGES EXACTLY. Double spaced of course, but damn...If you've never seen Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind or haven't seen it in ages I guess you'll like this. If not, fuck you.

Hey! How are you? Have you seen any good movies lately? If not, I have a movie that I feel that you should take a look at. It’s called “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”. The movie is about relationships and the complicatedness that comes with them and the contrivance in this film is miscommunication and tediousness. This leads one of the main characters, Clementine, to have her memory of her significant other be erased. Joel, the next main character, finds out that she has had this done and out of anguish, he goes to the company where she had this course of action made and after thinking about it, he decides to endure the same procedure to forget the love that they had shared and the downfall that led to their end. From then on, the film leads the viewer on a journey through Joel’s mind, as detailed as possible, showing the reasons why the relationship had turned bitter in the first place. The doctor and his associates play a crucial role in the process of erasing his memory. In many ways the movie works like a dream, making the watcher really pay close attention to the events that are going on. The interaction of the characters are primarily exchanged through memories, from courtship to the end, and in the process, the doctor’s team run into issues because Joel begins to realize that he doesn’t want to forget this woman whom he loved dearly. So he begins to rebel by taking those memories of her and hide them in places of his mind where she doesn’t belong. I won’t spoil the end or the other situations that occur but the plot of the movie reflects on relationships and if they are ended hastily or with great pain, it would want to make to you wish there was a way to erase the moments that were shared together, whether they were good or bad. This movie shows that if these memories were reflected upon one more time, it might make you see what you had and lost, and maybe want to have again.

The film “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” meant a lot to me because it played as a catalyst in the current relationship I was in. Before me and my then significant other were going to see the movie, we were in the process of breaking up. Toward the staring time of the movie we decided to settle our dilemma after we had seen the movie. And ironically, the film dealt with what we were going through in a way. We had a problem, with dealing with each other, with trust and with communication just as the characters in the movie dealt with. Seeing the movie from one perspective, I saw that whoever you let into your heart, you do it carefully and when that’s done you begin to take the good along with the bad until you reach your wits end and decide that there are better things out there and some things that are very much worth forgetting, even if it’s someone that you deeply cared for. Another perspective is that some people cannot deal with pain mentally, thus reaching the result of going through a procedure that could possibly cause brain damage as in the movie. I mean, I wouldn’t go that far. In another prospective, it showed me that the mind chooses to remember memories that are both pleasant and unpleasant and how you choose to remember the pleasant ones far more. Keepsakes of times that were enjoyably shared are sometimes hard to throw away, but aid you in the steps of forgetting. In my case I wasn’t going to throw away several games for the original Nintendo console and the great books that were given to me to read. Some thing’s in my case were worth keeping and have me later forget where I got them from. But altogether, I choose to forget everything, with my own strong will. Though the movie did not help the relationship, I decided that it was my time to move on, and as in the movie, I wish I could have gotten some of my memory erased. Then again there is that old saying, “'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”

In closing, I think this movie will interest you because it’s an original film of its kind, representing love stories such as those to be more genuine in its aspects of loss and gain in relationships. The movie is dominant in drama, but is lightly tuned with comedy that isn’t hard to miss. The performance by Jim Carey, being the well-known funny man that he is, shows a softer and unanimated side that really makes you almost forget you’re watching the man that made “Ace Ventura” famous and understand his role as the wounded boyfriend that just wanted to have a second chance but is crushed and led to his desperate measures. Kate Winslet as eclectic, witty and sensitive Clementine shows a difference in her character choice as well. Distinctively, in her well known previous roles in drama and period pieces, this was just as revolutionary of a role as it was for Carey. The film makes fun of the fact that people believe that some thing of a higher power puts us together, things such as love at first sight, destiny and soul mates. Then the film adds a romantic intensity that makes this film go through experiences that you have never seen on film before. The movie prevails that, typically love stories do not have to end in the death of a loved one, or a final goodbye for your life to be altered. If it may be that the memories of a loved one is forgotten, then what pain have you suffered? What have you learned about yourself? Do people take truth to the saying “you never know what you've got until it's gone” or do they just go with the flow and concentrate on moving on? This leaves the characters open for a second chance to do things right in opposed to doing them wrong for a second time. Then again, how would they remember? So give the movie a try, you might just like it!

I got an A on this mutha, so sit and spin.

Unleash Hell :-p

Oedipus the King - What a Fag

2010-02-24T19:17:00.002-05:00

In college, I really didn't care much about anything. This essay was one of them. I remember writing this on the LIRR...and that's it.

The cunt who I wrote it for probably gave me a C because I didn't mention how badly he wanted to fuck his mother.

In literature as in life, people through out time have felt the need to make changes in their lives that they seem will improve them, for some those changes are made to avoid the worse. That is true in the case of Oedipus in “Oedipus the King”. Through out this essay I will analyze the important role of destiny and fate and how it portrayed in the play.
In the beginning of the play, we are introduced to Oedipus, the King of Thebes, who appears to be much appreciated and closely followed. Throughout his kingdom a plague has been spread, and it was told that it was punishment for the killing of Laius who was the previous king of Thebes. Knowingly since the setting of the play is taking place during the Greek era, the Gods (and Goddesses) reflect how kingdoms and societies show act or if the Gods are pleased with how they are acting. With the murder of Laius, Oedipus has felt that he should put it upon himself to investigate the matter himself, not only for the sake of knowing but out of fear that he will be the next to die. At this point of the play, he is told not to investigate the matter because of what he may find. Oedipus refuses to listen; to some this shows how he does not keep in mind what did occur in the past, what fate he was supposed to have had met. Throughout the first half Oedipus declares severe punishment and banishment to whoever murdered Laius and he calls Oracles and other towns people to come forward with any information that they have. Teiresias, a blind man who is considered to be wise and helpful, Oedipus tells him of the oracle's statements and insists that he helps him find the killer. At first refuses but Oedipus asks him again, telling him that he is an enemy to Thebes if he refuses to help. Teiresias then tells Oedipus to look within himself before he blames others. "You are the cursed polluter of this land….the killer you are seeking is yourself…”you are living in sinful union with the one you love…living in ignorance of your own undoing.” At this Oedipus should have taken this warning to heart.
Later on we discover his wife, Jocasta, is his mother and he was part of three that killed his father. Though the act was done unknowingly, it was a fate that his mother was trying to avoid when she was told that her son would his father. Leaving her son for dead would have been for her the way to destroy that destiny, but in turn it did not. The same could have been true for Oedipus, because he was also told that he would kill his father, making him to thoughtless and oblivious. Foolishly he leaves his home in Corinth without further investigating the oracle's words and even though he did not know that Laius and Jocasta were his parents, he still does kill a man old enough to be his father and marry a woman old enough to be his mother. To some, a man with as disturbing a prophesy over his head as Oedipus would be very careful about who he married or killed. But he pursues the truth when others warn him not to; although he has already fulfilled the prophesy, he does not know it, and if he left well enough alone, he could continue to live in blissful ignorance. But instead he stubbornly rummages through his past until he discovers the awful truth. When discovering this truth he gouges his eyes out, buries his wife and departs from town leaving his sisters/daughters to live in shame of the horrid past that he created for them.
In conclusion, fate and destiny work very strongly together in everyday life. Through advice from family or other forms help, some events in your life can be changed but at times that advice is never taken but in the end your fate will lead you in that same direction. It is unfortunate to see that this was the case for Oedipus, but the same destiny could be for anyone.

Unleash Hell :-p

I Have Such A Way With Words

2010-02-24T19:11:00.002-05:00

Recently I've been having some headaches so writing hasn't been #1 on my list. I found some word documents of rants to companies and old school assginments that's brought me aces. So why not share?

This first one is to AOL back on 2005. What I really wanted to say was "Stop braking my balls you assholes and quit billing me for your imaginary service." But think I got the point across. Since it's been 5 years, I have no idea if they actually stopped billing me.

There has been an overwhelming amount billed to my house phone that has tallied to $181.10 and growing interest. I am unclear when it did not stop because I received my cable modem in the late months of 2005. I had requested some following months that I switched to DSL/Cable and would no longer need Dial-up minutes. I am refusing to pay this amount because the matter was settled sometime ago and I am already paying for DSL/Cable fee service. Please, I would appreciate if this matter was fixed at the soonest possible time.

Yeah, bitch!

Unleash Hell :-p

The Day I Tried To Live Without the DUNCE Hat On

2009-11-06T09:53:00.006-05:00

I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m tired. To whine about the horrors of life is repetitive. I can waste away into bankruptcy trying to get half as much or just wait for that moment when those 100 pennies do their job and change my life – forever. People laugh when they I say I wish I was in high school again, asking me, “You really want that time of angst, peer-pressure and awkwardness again?” Yes, I wouldn’t mind. Its light years better than waking up, going work, wishing you weren’t there and then go home. It is, in my opinion harder. Much, much harder. I’d rather deal with deep depression, days of being alone, taking long mindless walks, writing papers, and being driven with the need to not fail. Life is pretty much the same now, just with out the days of being alone.

I shouldn’t be doing this, this madness. Let’s bring ourselves to the sunny side for a minute. Last night I had a partial viewing of Pan’s Labyrinth. The first time I saw it, I had the pleasure of seeing it all in Spanish. Having no clue at all to what they were saying, I made it though by noting their actions, emotions and knowing a few phrases here and there. Visually, it is a stunning movie. Story wise, it is a stunning movie. As for as fantasy movies go, this one was done perfectly and intelligently in the view of a child and how monstrous adults; the real world can be. Looking back my imagination as a child wasn’t as vast. Grasping reality was a priority when I was younger; to be in a fantasy world only the half of the time would have a disappointment to me. So in its place I watched television, lots of it. In a normal person’s lifetime a total of 500 or so movies are seen without noticing. I’ve seen a little over 5,000 and I remember every title. No matter how good it was or how long, every one of them left its mark some how. One movie, as you all know made a special impression in my life. Creepshow, though as corny as it may be, is one of the best collage of short stories in one film I have ever seen. I would see it 100 more times if I had the time.

An explanation of why I favor this movie over most can’t be explained in one sitting. The one thing that I’ve never had the pleasure of experiencing is being interviewed. I probably wouldn’t like it. But if I ever was and had to explain why I do like the film, it would go something like the paragraphs below. The tone takes a very unsettling and sad turn, half way through the dialogue I realized it was all conversation with myself. I enjoyed it for a while but playing pretend made me realize how unimportant I am. I am only interesting to myself.

Why Creepshow. Why is that your all time favorite movie? Why not “Gone With the Wind? Or The Wizard of Oz?
Well, that question has to be answered in parts. Take a look at the movie from my perspective. It begins at night riding a storm, in a little house in a rural neighborhood. Right there, something I didn’t have. I was born and feared all my life would die in a high-rise project in Brooklyn. My windows were many and all I had was the darkness of the night and the lights of the city that never slept. The air isn’t still, it could never be with the noise of the cars, trains and the people - none of it could be blocked out with double plated glass. In the suburbs, you can only hear yourself breathing. That’s the only sound I wanted to ever hear. The movie continues with a father yelling at his son for reading comic books. Years later I found out the truth behind that fight. The comic “Creepshow” derived from similar criteria of “Tales from the Crypt”, “The Haunt of Fear” and “The Vault of Horror”, a series that was sentenced to death due to their violent and outlandish subjects that parents and the like protested to the point of having burning parties. To think that reading a fictional piece of literature makes people violent is just as insane as the concept of voting. So the father’s protest was a generalization of not comic books, but which comic book the son was reading. The mother just watched and added limited dialogue to the issue. She was an adversary to the battle of being a parent, she really didn’t win or loose in the matter. This is where I also saw what kind of figure a father is in a family. A strong, unrelenting character in the lived in the houses of a select few. I didn’t have that growing up and I think I would not have turned out any differently if I did. The opening scene concludes with the son getting slapped for a revealing comment and the comic gets thrown away. The son curses his father in the process and a ghoul of some sort appears, this is of course the Crypt Keeper reincarnated. See, this is why I enjoyed the movie so much when I was younger until now. It’s the rebirth of something that died years ago by ignorance and selfishness. The time that it all came out was indeed a different one; people couldn’t handle that sort of macabre and rejected it. I knew I was seeing something for the first time for what it was, and it was amazing…

Wow, I would have never imagined that reaction. You see things in a different light when it comes to movies and their meaning?
I really wouldn’t say that. I wouldn’t say I see things in a different light; I just have an opinion of things over time and asses my thoughts over it. I perceive…think about things all the time people really shouldn’t be thinking about. I dissect the littlest things, in the end I keep them to myself and forget about them later. My mind has some degree of deficiency when it comes to holding on to a thought. This is a rare moment. If you called me and told me that the tape recorder was busted and didn’t record anything I think my heart would sink [laugh]. You couldn’t get this from me again.

That’s discouraging.
So is taking a bowel movement that's all black.

No, that’s just disgusting.
Human bodily functions are the most revealing thing you can find out about someone [...our yourself] other than seeing them naked, it can tell you a lot about them. That’s disgusting. If my farts came out smelling like tortillas, that gives you the idea “Oh, she likes Mexican” or some other kind of corn treat or meal.” [Long pause] What were we talking about again? I feel we’ve veered off some subject.

Yes, yes we quite have [laughs]. We were talking about ‘Creepshow’…
Oh yes, OK. Going into the five stories that create the environment of the remainder of the movie can be pretty trivial. What I admired the most was that in every story a unique artifice appeared in every one of them. There was a marble ashtray with a decorative metal protrusion on top of it. It’s very nice; I wish I could find a replica of it [laughs]. It makes a beautiful table nook.

The first tale is completely about patricide. It’s a really dark subject considering the scene that we’ve just watched with the son and the father. When he snarls “I hope you burn in hell!”, that sums up the feelings of all youth at that age. I definitely felt that way when I was 9, 10 years old; I still do know [laughs] But seriously, how ironic is that. I think the subject was candy coated, the fact that the daughter killed her father wasn’t really hidden; it leading to devastating guilt, and he resurrecting from the dead to finally get his Father’s Day cake is ridiculous. If anything it expressed that he was a man that got what he wanted, no matter what. Well, that was her impression of him.

I never made that connection, and it’s clear now. That’s amazing. Are you making this up as you go along?
Yes, all of it. This is something I’ve never really thought about until now. And to freely think about it aloud is great. I’m taking this hour and a half 80s B movie into a theatrical masterpiece of intelligent storytelling. When it is just a campy horror/comedy that became a cult classic in its own right.

Indeed [laughs] Continue, PLEASE!
For as long as I can remember I’ve always enjoyed Leslie Nelson. And to see him in a masochistic role was astounding. Who in the hell forces someone to bury themselves in the sand and watch them drown via camcorder when the tide of the ocean comes in? That’s a sick man, a man who gets what he wants…Just like the father from the first story. It’s all a matter of principle. A man scorn? That happens, how often is that though? I don’t even want to think of it really because I could careless. But I would have cared if I was married to him and had done to me what he did to his wife. What happens toward the end of the story is hilarious. Once when I was watching it with my Mom she said, “That’s all in his head.” This, I had to agree with her. Guilt killed him. Guilt made him set up the cameras. Guilt made him dig his own hole and bury himself in the sand. Guilt is human condition, a space that will never be filled.

I heard that people who are grieving or who are holding on to a problem for a long duration develop hysterical illnesses and ailments. That’s phenomenal, for your mind to turn on you that easily. I feel people turn on your faster. Bringing me to the next story about Jordy Verrill. What’s perplexing about a hick living in the middle of nowhere? Truthfully, nothing. A large percentage of people live that way and prefer it. But at the unlikely event a meteor hits and you’re the only person around to be aware of this is definitely a terrifying ordeal. He didn’t think so though. He was alone and scared. He perpetuated the occurrence to be a profitable one until the growth began. And the feelings of being alone and scared were only amplified by what the meteor had brought upon him. The story was a very sad one, “The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill”, his fear was the meteor. We all have our shots from the sky we dread.

Maybe so. But how does his story relate to the rest? He doesn’t have a goal or hate his father.
I have a sense you’re getting a little bit too excited about my claims. I am making this up as I go along, I’ll probably see it later on as we go along. [Long pause] Come to think of it…his father was dead and came to him as a vision. So I guess there is a connection after all. It’s unfair that when you’re close to death you begin to see people who’re no longer in your life. [In movies] they tend to always try to be the life saver. I find that to be cruel. Free will is a thing of the living and 100% of the time we’ll end up dead anyway. It’s misleading really…

When you look at “The Crate” and “They’re Creeping Up On You” are completely different stories from the rest. How does an ancient yeti living in a box under the stairs and an old man with Entomophobia have to do with anything? I really don’t see the connection. Though it was entertaining to watch how they both played out. The mere horror of finding something alive after being trapped in a box for over 100 years is enough to drive you into a profession of drug taking. Curiosity is in all of us, if I found a box that looked like it hadn’t been opened in scores, my first thought is “there must be treasure in this that will make me richer than Jesus’ mother.” And that’s exactly what the professor thought too. But in return he had to watch a janitor and a “19” year old college student get consumed by an aged gorilla torso that was famished for human flesh. But the side story touched a subject also of spousal abuse. What movie since displayed that women can be abusers? Though she was purely verbal, it’s still abuse. And the battered husband reacted in a way as all battered husbands do, except the problem resolved itself with a yeti in a box. So I guess he got lucky. Everybody gets one.

I saw Creepshow once and I barely remember “They’re Creeping Up On You”
That was one that was erased from my memory too when I was younger, I had just seen the movie only a few times. I, myself do not favor the company of bugs of any kind so I consider this story one of my least favorites. I’m going to ignore the whole story in fact. An old bigot in a white apartment with a bed, jukebox, and a computer wasn’t as interesting to me as I thought it would be when I saw it for the first time. But it did show once again and made it obvious that it was all in his mind. There was a part where he had smashed a roach with his hand and when he lifted his hand to look at the remains, there was nothing there. I’ve experienced the short life of a shut in and it had never gotten to that point of realistic hallucinations of my inner most fear. The roaches symbolized how consumed he was with himself, his company and lifestyle. When the bugs finally caught up with him in his look-in air tight panic room, it’s like all the air was pushed out of him and he had no where else to go. That and he had a heart attack [laughs]. I would too if I saw a bed of bugs. The part when they all come pouring out of him means something too; it gave a visual of how ugly some people are on the inside. It’s sad really. Another sad case.

You’ve turned this movie into something other than what it really is.
I hope not, I’ll watch it in the same light as I always have. Played in a constant loop at all times to make me feel like someone’s home.

Would you ever have your children watch it?
Of course! I’m a hoarder for music, movies and other sorts of entertainment. It’s all influential, and I want it all to capture my children in some way. I can’t act, sing, or play an instrument very well but when I listen to music, watch a movie or see a stage performance of any kind I feel like I can for just that moment. It’s a great feeling. And then back to reality. We can all dream.

Indeed. It was a pleasure talking to you. I don’t think I’ll be able to watch the movie the same again. Thank you for your time.
You’re welcome.

I don’t care if I seem off. It’s just the way I am. I don’t think I’ll ever change.

“There is no Yoda – there is no one who points you in the right direction. You’ve got to figure that out by yourself.” – Heath Ledger

Unleash Hell :-P

All good thing require time, planning, and understanding

2009-10-21T11:18:00.005-04:00

Yes, well. It's been some time. And for that I deeply don't care.

This morning on my way walking to work, some papers were flying gently in the wind and a skinny jeaned gentleman picked up a paper that he obviously did not drop. Walking ahead of him I found another piece of paper and swiped it up noticing that it had some scribbles on it. On the back of the paper stated:

REQUEST FOR INTERVIEW OR INFORMATION

Subject: (State exactly what you want; do not ask for interview without stating your question)

So this little ditty was left by a Fortissimo Fortltude from Willoughby. Age unknown. He doesn't have much skills for writing, that's for sure; but whatever the hell he was writing about was either thrown away by him or these "interviewers". Very puzzling. See if you can guess what the hell the "job" was for.

UPDATE: I threw this away as well, to be recycled into a starbucks cup.

I’ve learned well…
People fear me because of my vast collection of knowledge. I’m in jail. People think they are better than I am because those have more than I do.
I laugh at the petty cash.
I drift back and forth of what I use to have.
I mustered math with a combination of intellect my “chuandry” very complex.
Ain’t nothing simple about me.
I’m a college course for a degrees.
I ain’t perfect I drink and puff herb B.
I carry guns and sell drugs see.
I was the devil son once upon a time...
I was presented the truth about my people, how was manipulated and enslaved by evil.
I’m discipline and dedicated.
I have order and I’m situated.
I broke the psychological chains of slavery.
I *unintelligible* the words.
I’m black and I’m proud with bravery.
They can’t stop me now, I’m motivated.
Obligated to prosper, celebrating over linguine served with shrimp cocktail sauce and lobster.
I’m deadlier than a *unintelligible* strike.
More professional at killing than a mobster.
My words describe mental murder.
Can’t read my mind, it’s like doctors *unintelligible* fooling me it’s unheard of.
I’m a master mind *unintelligible* the son of Joseph.
Yes I was chosen, my message is pointed at your mind.
Keep closing another door always open.
I’m better at sailing the seas than boats, I practice swimming in the ocean.
My skin is rich, never ashy. Don’t need lotion – I’m joking.
Moving forward with the time, my mind is sweet like juicy fruit. Like a female in heat I’ll leave you open.
Some got this twisted; they say I’m a waste of talent because I’m gifted.
Live where live just like me your thought would be drifted from a good boy to a caramel.
I shifted.
I have no limits, this ain’t no gimmick.
My eyes seen too much death and pain, love and joy.
The goodness destroyed the bad I’ve employed and yes that life I enjoyed.
Today I’m a better man, no longer confused.
Life is to cherish not to abuse.
I hear the music in the background.
She’s singing a wonderful song.

I’m not crazy. I’m pathologically high-spirited

2009-09-24T12:20:00.000-04:00

The other day after I left from the gym, I started watching “The Midnight Meat Train” from iPod on the train ride home. I was lucky to find a seat mind you to enjoy this. So I was sitting next to this guy who was reading this book. The title escapes me; all I remember is that it was a large book that probably had something to do with “How to Become a Hipster in 30 Days” because he lived in Park Slope. I know this because I saw the stop he got off at. And as he had gotten up he STARED at me. And of course I started back. Dude, you had a chance to say something about what I was watching. There was no need to stare.

You know who you are.

Lifes The Same Except For My Shoes

2009-08-21T10:38:00.004-04:00

Hi ho!

This just in: Will people be flocking to see 2012?

Recently I had the pleasure of seeing District 9 with the love of my life and I must tell you, if you haven’t seen this movie yet – go see it NOW! It’s an amazing story that you would never expect from the mass trailers and posters around your area. Bloggers abroad know pretty much what the movie is about, I’m sure they’ve written about it. I haven’t read those blogs because I have an opinion of my own of the film that I like to keep in tact. This movie will surely leave a mark on you, no matter how you were raised.

Sadly, I cannot give a definitive review of the movie. I recently did read an article after the movie was released, revealing the many many directions the movie went. I enjoyed the article and felt that I had general feeling that culminated into a love that is this movie. So please, go see it.

Now for the main event. I’ve seen the trailer for 2012 long before I saw it in a theater, actually it was a much funnier trailer than the actual one was. Here, take a look:

See? Much funnier than this one.

Point taken. But will people actually pay to see this? Granted it is a theatrical work of fiction that is based on scientific, and ugh Mesoamerican Armageddon calendar. How can we divulge ourselves into this pile of shit? The Mesoamerican’s are DEAD for a reason, they out lived their calendar a long time ago. So, to be the dicks they decided to pick a number in the 2000’s that will most definitely be the end of the world because it just seems to be the right time. Funny, they didn’t mention this in the 1980s, 90s, or when it turned 2000. We get the hot side of this fart 3 years before it supposedly happens the 21st of December. It will be safe to say that I will be with my boyfriend (who will probably be my husband by then) ready to push off with a wicked speedball, making our way into the next dimension with out a scratch. That we could feel anyway. Or if things get really hectic, I propose a driving into a canyon…if only there were canyons in New York.

So that’s how I feel about that. I generally do not like programs that give scenarios of how I’m going to die that differs from old age, rape or possible home invasion. Maybe they ran out of paper.

Fuck it, we’ll do it live!

We've all been lied too

2009-08-14T22:45:00.002-04:00

Sometimes I stop and think, "I'm not really important in many people's lives."

Well, I'm not. Anyway, I'm singing Soundgarden's "Black Hole Sun" on of my favorite songs of ALL time. I will be 80 blasting this song from from my headphones.

I went through my old note pad files and found this.

Ha ha, boom head shot.

Now, where were we? Madness, I tell you! I bring to you another poem of mine. I have little recollection of my inspiration of this one. I remember I was in high school. And either just read or seen the movie Fight Club. Loved them both. So here it is. Falling, Six Feet Under

Falling so way,
Way down
That there ain’t no way I’m gonna get back up
Beaten and bloody from it
I roll on my back
Blinded by the light
I look up to the
Once large now small hole
That I fell though
And feel the pain of your love once again

Pain,
That time when I felt your love
For the first time
How soft and wet and warm it was
So, so painful
You were the one
The only one that I wanted this feeling from
Because if someone else gave it to me
I wouldn’t know what to do
You know why?
You’re one in million
Nothing on this earth like it
Not a damn thing like it

Pain,
That time when we were far into each other
Each others minds
Each others bodies
Each others souls
Without words you knew what to do
And with that first hit
Feeling the blood run down and across my lip
The second hit
The throbbing pain on my cheek
And the third, the forth…
I clench my jaw tightly
As your cold, wet hands gently squeeze my life into nothing
Breathing hard, hot gasps of your love for me
Seeing black
Your face spiraling farther and farther into the darkness
Experiencing the euphoria…
Breathless…
Fucking…breathless

Pain,
Of the cuts made by you
And bruises made by you
I can’t believe it took so long
For me feel this free
This loved
The years, months, weeks and days
Of stupid and inane minutes of wasted time
I wasted my fucking life
My entire fucking life of waiting for the right one
The right goddamn one to come
And give me what I wanted
What I dissevered
The pain that love is
Love is not the words “I love you”
Love is not that soft and wholesome shit on television and in movies
Love is the pain that you feel when
Your Mother slaps you on the face
Because you were bad or for no reason at all
Love is the pain that you feel when
Your Father ignores you, hardly even acknowledging you
Love is the pain that you feel when
Your “lover” leaves you on the curb without reason
Beaten and battered
Emotionally, never physically
Love is the pain that can be purely unimaginable
Because that’s the pain I feel when I’m with you

Pain,
It’s when it gets too much
Or sometimes too little
The pain that I have is nothing
Like the pain that I never wanted
I found out something
Something so…bad
So un-pristine from what I really am
I…I can’t feel anymore
I can’t feel the pain you give me anymore and it hurts
It hurts
I want something stronger
Something thicker
Something more, more…harder
I want to bleed without stopping
I want to see black in all four corners
I want to move beyond the freedom nobody else has
I want to breathe smoke

Looking up at the bright light,
The hole that I fell though,
Waves of more bright light cascades
Closer and closer to me
But I don’t see the light anymore
But a hand wanting to take me
Back up to the surface
Now, I don’t feel your pain
Now, I want to discuss earth after touring hell
Touring my own hell
That will never freeze over.

© 2002 DiRtY

Unleash Hell :-P

Been Out, Now I'm In

2009-08-07T22:15:00.006-04:00

Must we make conversation every time we pass? So, I found out the The Great Gatsby was written without the letter "e" in it. What an ffort.

Over the break I've gotten some new additions into my life:

1) Even Dwarfs Started Small DVD.
2) A Region 2 copy of the Special Edition 2 Disk Creepshow DVD.
3) A gym membership.

Now I'm not going to bore you with the gym membership, that's a boring boring story. I wouldn't be joining for the desire of being in the presence clean white towels. So with that I leave it there and say...I joined for being in the presence clean white towels.

I.
Love.
Creepshow.

I have seen it throughout my youth over 100 times. And I'm going to see it 100 more times with 5 deleted scenes and commentary. There is a joy like no other when I receive this gift :D. It maybe compared to a very satisfying bowel movement.

Lastly, Even Dwarfs Started Small...Google it. It's an amazing movie. I can't review it because it's one of those movies that I can't describe, bring any humor too, or judge. I just love it. I hope you do too (if you decide to watch it).

So...and now to our main event. The poem below I wrote while I was laying on my parents bed. That's all I remember truthfully. It was about someone, I can honestly assume I was sexually active at the time. But I could be guessing. Without further a due, I give you Addiction

Crawling, twitching
Wasting and Itching
I cut my time off into intervals,
Laps
Memory laps of delusions
Cold, wet and confused
About everything but...

My...

Licking and picking
The places you once were
Where we both made love
Soul to soul
Mind to mind
I close my eyes and hope pieces
Fragments of you were left back
Left behind to satisfy my hunger
My fix
My weakness that is...

My Addiction...

Cramping and shaking
I see you in all corners of my mind
But you're never there
The video record records you left behind
I love to watch so much
Vast, familiar smells and sounds
Resurface as I see you, us
Frozen in time
My fingers are like lightening bolts
Compared to my vibrating babies
I love to hold
To use so much
Coming closer and closer together
Falling from heaven
A place I always in when I'm watching...

My Addiction Is...

Trembling and screaming
"Where are you?"
"Why can't I find you?"
"Why are you doing this to me?"
All I need is to feel whole again
I need to be loved again
I forget to forget
Your blood in mine
Your seed in mine
Your hand in mine
Don't forget I have you in mind

My Addiction Is You.

© 2002 DiRtY

Unleash Hell :-P

Keep it Casual

2009-07-23T22:37:00.010-04:00

Yea, I played with knifes when I was younger. So? What did you do that so special? Join the peace core? You suck.

5...4...3...2...Too Late

Today was going to be a normal one,
or so I thought...
I went into the kitchen and put my dirty dishes in the sink
I opened the fridge door
Took out a number of things, too many to mention
I took out a knife that was in the holder on the counter, the longest one to cut
The sharpest..
Cutting piece by piece my delicious treat for later on
For later on, will I enjoy it then?
Music playing randomly from the TV
And I had no time to look but only to listen
For a split second my trans of thought left me
Where could it have gone?
"Shhhhheeecccaaaaa" was what I yelled
It was better than cursing
"Don't use those any more! Why weren't you careful???"
I was careful, it can happen to anyone.
It's not like a slit my wrist
Now I know the feeling.

© 2001 DiRtY <====(I did this when I was younger, who knows if it worked)

lol I still have a nasty scar

Unleash hell :-P

When I was 17...

2009-07-21T21:58:00.003-04:00

I wasn't really 17. A Long, long ago when all I had was time on my hands I would write anything that I imagined. Even if it didn't make any sense whatsoever. At that this time of the poem I hadn't experienced true love or any other form of sordid emotion. During that period I had read so many stories that conveyed that feeling that I thought I knew. Well, I didn't. Ha!

"So good to see you, I missed you so much"

Surfing the television for something to watch became listless and boring again. Keeping herself busy to shake off the constant unease and excitement of seeing him for the first time after so long. To see his eyes again, to hear his laugh again, to see his smile. It had been so long; almost three years since he had went into the military. It had been something he had wanted to do for so long. She was weary of the whole thing but she didn’t want to stop him. He asked her to come with him but she couldn’t. Who knew that wanting to be a forensics pathologist would be so hard?

Looking at the television became as more pointless than a blind man watching a sunset. She got up and began pacing around the apartment, checking her watch every nano-second. His plane was going to land around 5pm, he was supposed to come earlier, but he had called and said that there was some problem with a passenger on a plane. It wasn’t his, but it was worth delaying the entire terminal. It was now going on 6pm and the excitement she had first felt on the day he called to tell her he was coming home, made her drunk with happiness.

Busying herself even better, she went into the kitchen and pulled out a Bud, screwed off the top with her hand and drank it strait down like it was water. It mid-guzzle the door bell rang.

“What the…” she said to herself.

Even though it wasn’t heavy liquor, it made her forget sometimes. Even the one of the most exciting moments in her life. It rang again. She walked over to the door, unlocked the locks, and at the moment she turned the doorknob she remembered. The light from the hallway added to the half-lapse of memory. It had been so long, anyone else probably wouldn’t have recognized him, but if it weren’t for those eyes of his, there would be no mistake about it. Her breathing became light and the beer bottle that was still in her hand also became that so. No words came out of either of them. There didn’t have to be words said. The bag that was loosely hung over his shoulder and the bag that was in his hand fell to the floor. Her bottle, the same. They braced each other in a tight hug and kissed passionately that made them both want to cry.

See, there are words people say when they say goodbye and also when they say hello. Tears maybe shed, maybe not. But there were no words they could say to each other but a kiss that said,

“So good to see you, I missed to you so much.”

The End

Unleash hell :-P

My Letter to Chuck

2009-07-14T21:45:00.005-04:00

It was 2004. I must have read "Lullaby", "Survivor", "Choke", "Fight Club", and "Invisible Monsters" by then. I wasn't obsessed. Imagine if you like, the admiration that Mark David Chapmen had with J. D. Salinger and "Catcher In The Rye".

I'm glad I never mailed it to him.

Dear Mr. Palahniuk,
My name is Christina and I am 19 years old. I came upon one of your books about a year and some months ago and became instantly intrigued. Choke, Fight Club, Survivor (my Favorite one to date) and Invisible Monsters is what I've read so far, I have Lullaby and Diary but haven't had the time due to school and such. But because of you I started reading again, but not writing. I when I was 15 I wrote my "soul" or as I think of it "my introduction of better things to come" (And also became "Dirty" or "Sucia" (the Spanish dirty), it's my author name and still is today. It was inspired by a song and the theme of the story was also the basis. It's not with the letter, besides I've gotten enough "you wrote this when you were 15?" My first 10 good comments were enough, I never want anymore.) and it was the last I could ever write my best. So, I won't try, or plan to, but I will begin writing again. But I have a serious problem, it's not uncommon for writers to write themselves into what they write and that's what I always do. It's....flattering and kind of self centered I've felt with my own work. Why write about myself when I am capable of so many other things?

I wrote a letter some time ago, when I had found out about Chuckp.net and then later found out that you don't accept anymore letters, so I forgotten about it and gave up trying. I always dreamed of this, but mostly I would wonder how it felt to receive fan letters, sending them are nerve racking, it almost feels like you're reading it right in front of them and then you feel like you're rambling not making the reader feel indifferent at all. I apologize, I really do. I enjoy and am influenced by your work. You have a very special talent of describing the world as some see it. One day I'll do the same, but maybe just a bit differently.

I'm compelled to mention stresses in my life that has prevented me from writing clearly. I don't like to be punished and assume you don't either so I'll leave out the sob story go straight to the ending, I'm glad I got this opportunity to stumble on ChuckP.net to find out I could actually write to you. It is a privilege to know that someone better than myself knows me, or at least my essence for at least a moment. "To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world." One day.

Sincerely...

Unleash Hell :-P

I can't even begin...at the beginning

2009-07-10T21:00:00.004-04:00

I've been in a very hard spot in my life. Currently I have become very maternal. I can't help but think of the many reasons why I want so badly to have a child. In many ways I think I can't, I guess it's natural.

I've decided to try to rekindle my old habit from 8 years ago. Enjoy what I post, they were the deepest thing to expressing myself to millions of people who never bothered to read them. This is what I can call, my first child.

I'll begin with a poem written...well I don't know when I wrote it. It was definitely written when I was in college. At the time I was 100% dedicated to school. Getting good grades, making my parents proud, and being the most depressed I have ever been in my life (so far). It has no title.

Hit the alarm.
Wake up.
Go to school.
Come home.
Sleep.
I'll help you read between the lines.

Constant sounds, vibrating in my hand
To deaf to hear the real thing,
Too poor to want the real thing.
Feed the bitches and then shower.
Off to school, no one is as focused as I am.
I'm forgetting.
My 7AM is your 9PM.
I need to hear your voice.
I'm forgetting how it sounds again.

I'm welcomed with a turned back when I come to school.
Such a place, and I still love coming to it everyday.
The rashes on my sides start to itch.
Belt marks, the itch reminds me how fat I've become.
Thanks.
The talking, Jesus the teasing.
It's never ending.
Repetitive.
Absent-minded.
Thanks.
The classes are just that, my dream crusher.
Midterms are my weakness.
Thanks.
"She doesn't get enough....She doesn't get enough money....
She died from an overdose"
I picked the wrong time to quit killing myself.
Thanks.

I look like a bum on the train, falling asleep like that.
Going deaf, not hearing the music I have blasting
Let alone my stop
It's what I like the most of coming home.
It might be somewhere else, so much better.
Sometimes I imagine being in so much pain that
No one can hear my cries
Even to the point where my pain is physically visible
No one can see a thing
I think I'm doing good so far, no one has come forward.
Thanks.

So, when I close my eyes tonight
I'll forget today, yesterday and the day before that
I won't even remember this, but I know you will.
Thanks.

Unleash Hell :-P

I haven't!

2009-07-10T20:47:00.000-04:00

Been touching base. Clearly, I'm not rich yet.

Unleash hell :-P

Drag Me To Hell, Plz :D

2009-06-03T10:00:00.011-04:00

I had the opportunity to watch "Drag Me To Hell" last night. So, here we go.

I'm not going to say who was in it by giving their names and character names because I'm not in a geeky mood right now, nor do I give a shit. Don't take that in a mean way, the movie complied of a very small cast of an old Gypsy, Mexicans, a few white people, a few uppity white people, an Asian guy, and an Indian dude. Oh and a cat and a goat. Ok? we're good? Good.

The movie as it seems is from the same creator/director of some other horror movie that I'm sure you've seen or I've seen. Again my geek blood isn't flowing in 1's and 0's today. The basis of the story was that if you piss off the wrong person, a demon will haunt you until you're good and ripe to drag down to hell. Which is 3 days. Good to know!

She's so relived

So, instead of going line by line, scene by scene, explaining the main characters plight in all this hell borne madness, I will just point out the funny/really? scenes.

It begins with an emo used to be lard eater who can't stand up for herself or to her shitty boss at her very good job. She's got a great boytoy with a crazy mother who doesn't want him to date trash. So get hear this now ladies and gents, being a banker (including a teller) is trash to parents of a son who is a Psychology professor. You heard it here first if you didn't already know.

So Emo Supremo is given the opportunity to do something that would get her in the seat of Assistant VP at her bank, and do to that is to tell an old (and possibly already dead) gypsy woman that the bank will have to take her house because she's a shitty bill payer. So the old lady flips out and waits for the girl IN HER CAR and freaks her the fuck out by beating her up and gumming her chin. I wish I were kidding.

So now she's cursed by owning a button. Really? YUP! And from there hilarity ensues! She hears voices, goes to a Psychic guru and dies anyway. I can't even begin on the stupidity of the demon. It's a soul eater who wants nothing more than her soul. I mean what else could there have been? A gift card to starbucks? During a seance, it was summoned transferred through 2 people and 1 animal. First in the summoner, where it spit when it spoke, lashed out it tongue and some other demon nonsense. Then it was transferred to a goat and it called her a bitch. A goat called her a bitch. Then lastly it went in to the summoners assistant, where as it hovered in the air, it danced a jig because it just KNEW it was going to get it self a soul sooner than it though. Wow. Greatest movie making known to man since Troll 2.

I have to end this here, I really don't have anything else to add. My final thoughts, even though I made fun of it, I would watch it again. I just wish the bastardization of horror movies were more original and used better actors. It's not fun watching someone who isn't scared for their lives anymore. Bring back Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Friday the 13th when people knew what it meant to be scared. Either those or any Nickolas Cage movie, I cry every time I watch one.

Unleash Hell :-P

Ask me if I care

2009-05-26T10:57:00.002-04:00

There are so many professionals in this world who professionally look like they are busy 100% of the time. I've only succeeded 80% of this. I've got a lot of learning to do.

I'm trying to recall the accounts of the weekend...let us begin with Friday, the 22nd of May.

Time is relative. So lets just say it was the afternoon. A college friend of mine picked me up from the train station and went back to his place to eat a little and watch a movie. Before the movie we waited for a 3rd to arrive. My Irish Princess and drinking buddy. We watched John Carpenters "The Thing" until another appeared and watched the remainder of the film. Shooting the shit as usual, we waited for another until we headed to the bar.

The night started out slow, but I began hard with Southern Comfort and Coke. Then a Malibu and Cranberry. Then 2 beers, Bacardi and Coke, and another beer. Oh and a free shot from a 30-something old chap with male pattern baldness who was happy to treat us all to Jägermeister to celebrate his birthday and our acquaintance (I assume). The night ended nicely, I sobered up the old fashion way with a romp in the bed with my future significant other at his place. I dare to say that it was the most fun I have had in a long time? Dare I say.

I recall little things from the night, I will gather them in list form.

* Donald Sutherland played in a movie called "1900" or "Novecento" where he head-butts a Communist kitty.
* I made out with my drinking buddy for $1 (I didn't forget this, I just didn't mention it above)
* I smoked more than I have ever socially smoked in one sitting, this was elevated due to the fact we were on a patio drinking. Best thing to ever happen to me.

That's all really from that day, I was just so happy to be with my friends. To drink and have a good time like we used to.

The Weekend:
These days were full of sleeping and drinking. Other activities occurred but I prefer not to mention what they were.

Memorial Day, Coming back Home:
My mother called me "weird" and "a stranger". They're both true. Then again, how else am I going to say how you look in those shoes? I'm not a husband, I'm a daughter. A 23 and a half year old woman who doesn't like to be interrogated about clothes upon returning from my friends and boyfriend. People who entertain me, people who make me happy in this life. I have no privacy so it's left under the assumption I like to be bothered every moment of the day when I step foot in the house.

I was born into a life of no privacy. Now I yearn for it. More than you could ever imagine. And that's all I'm gonna say about that.

Unleash Hell :-P

This gets a little weird

2009-05-21T10:55:00.004-04:00

I'm having a "Grinds My Gears" moment. In my office, a commercial (in mute) aired. It was about preventing forest fires. Of course Smokey the Bear was in it. And it occurred to me (as I'm sure many, many times before) that Smokey the Bear wears pants.

:-O WAHHH!

You mean to tell me a bear wearing Big and Tall brand Wrangler jeans with a Champaine Felt hat and a shovel is trolling around the forest to catch your ass in the act of a pyrotechnic EPIC FAIL? I don't know why people haven't gotten the point up to this day that a semi-clothed hairy mammal is on the look out for people who don't uphold on the law in the woods, obviously where he shits. So I guess that's more than means to protect it.

I for one would not start any kind of fire in the woods because I live in Brooklyn.

The matter that grinds my gears is that HE CARRIES A FUCKING SHOVEL! How does that not up the ante on the threat level that's already proposed? "If you DON'T prevent forest fires, I'm going to bludgeon your skull into mush and bury you in the forest that you just tired to burn to the ground with your battery operated hot-plate."

Sometimes, it's better not to think of such things.

And just set the fucker on fire like Chucky and get the hell out of dodge!

Unleash hell :-P

Could it be?

2009-05-13T10:43:00.003-04:00

I don't really have much to say today.

I have grown an unhealthy obsession with the song "Rocky Raccoon" from The Beatles. I love the lyrics and the old timey harmony on the piano.

I love something else too. I prefer not to say...it at first annoyed me but then, then everything went in slow motion when the song came on. I admire the fact that we have to be out of our own subconscious to be happy, to feel alive. I dislike what toll it takes.

Just for fun. Really.

Why? Because. Part 2

2009-04-30T09:31:00.002-04:00

I forgot about Ping Pong Hockey. That was in my dream as well. The field was on an ice rink and all the players had paddles.

It's probably becoming an Olympic sport as we speak.

Why? Because.

2009-04-30T08:27:00.010-04:00

From as long as I can remember, I've always had a strong hatred for the word "because". Lets start from the beginning:

Function:
conjunction
Etymology:
Middle English because that, because, from by cause that
Date:
14th century
1 : for the reason that : since 2 : the fact that : that

Now, we've gotten a clear definition of this asinine...conjunction let's categorize how it falls into the universe. From our youth and many youths in the past, questions develop that are just too hard to answer. So we go to someone who knows the answers. But that's not enough, dependent on the question there is almost a 95% chance there will be a "Why?" shot back for more answers. Then, it happens. "Because..." Exposure so early to a word shouldn't be used with such beguiling hopes of an absolute refutation. So now we know that when there is a question and an answer is given, it is right because it is right.

Lets skip ahead to pubescent years, the years of rebellion and self-exploration. The years of, quite frankly "not giving a fuck". (*please note, these feelings do extend to early and later adult years. Or for some, their entire lives.) "Because" is wrathfully objected during this time, it 100% of the time interferes in this period. It's used to "fuck up one's shit" on a psychological level. For example, "Why can't I go to Michelle's house (to do drugs and have underage sex without you knowing)?" - Response "Because, I said so." Maybe they can read between the lines, predict the future, or just fucking crazy. Murderous rage congests the young mind at this time and for some time afterwards.

It sure did mine.

But that's not the point of this. I rambled on in this context that I steered away from the real reason of this tantrum.

I had a dream this Thursday morning. I arrived back from a journey I have no recollection of. Coming home, I was happy to see my boyfriend; it had been some time since I'd seen him. Upon my arrival it was announced that he was currently with another, and he himself was with child. Yes, like that Schwarzenegger movie minus the science and the utter ridiculousness. I too was confused with this situation. Even more so when we had sex, I didn't know what the hell to do. Afterward, a group of..."people" including him and myself went on some sort of adventure. I cannot go into details of where or what we were looking for, in the end I had to secretly depart. I was caught by a fellow journeyman as I was making my leave asked "Why?" and all I could say was, "because..."

I was so hurt and confused that I was hyperventilating in my sleep, craving a cigarette.

Why did I dream of the man I love with another and pregnant? Because.

Stamped

2009-04-20T20:15:00.004-04:00

Soon, my main squeeze, a co-worker and his wife will be front and center seeing Adele perform live. I am beyond excited at this point.

Recently, I had a dream. The beginning is unimportant because I don't remember it. But I'll fast forward to the part that made me tear in my sleep. I was in labor, my second half was a bit tense to come in and witness the magic so we communicated by cell phone.

I'm pleading and crying, "You don't have to watch, but I want you to come inside." Moments pass and I have the baby while he's by my side. It's a girl. I'm holding her in my arms.

I'm so taken about by the miracle in my arms. So in a room alone, I softly begin singing:

"Tell me to run and I'll race,
if you want me to stop I'll freeze,
and if you are me gonna leave, just hold me closer baby,
and make me crazy for you.
Crazy for you."

I awoke in tears because that had to be the cutest thing I have ever dreamed in my life.

Music Sometimes Makes the People Come Together

2009-04-08T14:30:00.005-04:00

I'm in the middle of a film called "Control", a documentary of the English post-punk band Joy Division. I gotta tell you, I really like it.

For those of you who don't know (neither did I until I heard "Love Will Tear Us Apart", which I heard for the first time in another movie called "Series 7: The Contenders". A mock film making fun of reality TV shows. And as well at the time, I thought it was The Cure singing it...) this group was at it's peak during the 70s and into the 80s, but tragically ended with the suicide of the lead singer Ian Curtis.

In the film, Ian is portrayed as a wise, risk taker that does what is best for him. He knew what he wanted and worked effortlessly to get it. His songs were deep, poetic and expressed his and your feelings in every surge of electricity shot out of him on stage.

My favorite song by Joy Division would be a scene in the recording studio, and he sang:

"Mother I tried, please believe me.
I'm doing the best that I can.
I'm ashamed of the things that I've been put through,
I'm ashamed of the person I am...
Well if you could just see the beauty,
these things I can never describe.
These pleasures away with distraction.
This is my one lucky prize. Isolation."

The rest of the story can be read on Wiki to how his life met a tragic end at such a young age.

I for one cannot describe what it was like to be in his shoes.

So, enjoy some Joy Division

At the end of the rainbow

2009-04-07T12:17:00.004-04:00

Life, though I am not one to talk about it, has passed me by and has left a scar so deep that I could not even explain. I have a selective memory, some may call it that. I call it 'being able to live with myself for the mistakes I've made". Some were large, many were small. But now it's beginning to affect my everyday life. I'm at a point where I've forgotten what I ate the previous day, what I did the previous weekend, and what I was in my other life's. I consider my previous life's to be the early stages of my life. And I barely remember them.

I cannot make this any clearer, I am not alone in this. I will be sooner or later. Will I remember?

And now for the main event:

There are some things you just can't miss

2009-04-07T10:59:00.003-04:00

Well, shall we?

I've just gotten through watching a movie called "The Adventures of Mark Twain" and I gotta tell you it's very good. I for one did not grow up reading his works nor the theatrical versions of them, but I digress. This claymation feature starred Huck Finn, Tom Sawyer and Sally Phelps who stowaway on Mark Twain's air balloon/rocket/boat thing that is going en chase of Haley's Comet for the soul purpose of ending his (Twain's) life.

*GASP* OMG you mean to tell me a Mark Twain, one of our most literary genius' of all time wants to kill himself by flying into a Comet? And bring 3 innocent (fictional) children with him?!

Well, yes. But not really.

Along the way Twain expresses his deep love of life and the fading in which caused him to make he decision to chase Haley's Comet. Crack-pot? Maybe. Depends on your perspective. The Diary of Adam and Eve, The Mysterious Stranger, and another about a friend of his going to gay three-headed alien heaven (accidentally) come up. *I personally love the "Mysterious Stranger", the story of the Angel Satan. Not really one for the kids, but a goodie.

In closing, I deeply love this movie because of his wisdom. Though it maybe fictional or not, I loved every minute of it. It's really old. I doubt you can find it at the video store but have fun looking it up.

Here are a few clips via Youtube:

The whole movie is there too!
http://www.youtube.com view_play_list?p=EFF42B92EBD8C2AB

And please...Vote for me!! It's free to sign up :)

I got it!

2009-04-03T11:28:00.001-04:00

I've decided to go with Mister Mister "Broken Wings" I loved that song in Grand Theft Auto: Vice City.

I just hope it wakes me up!!!

And just for you...

So?

2009-03-30T13:51:00.002-04:00

If Albany can snub their noses and make the MTA increase the fares, I think they should also extend weekends. Hell, it doesn't even have to be Albany! I want the same people who changed Daylight Savings time to a later date, fucking up my sleep schedule. So, just to make up for it I think weekends should be extended to 5 days a week. Making it 2 days a week people work. 24 hour shifts and it can only be back to back if the person is willing and with 4 hour lunch breaks each day.

I find no wrong in this. It's 40 hours. Take it or leave it.

I got sleep in my eyes

2009-03-25T10:34:00.005-04:00

I...am...exhausted! This is a song I have sung for some time now. I mean I get enough sleep and eat..ok..foods but there is no reason for this. I HAVE to change my alarm clock song! I've grown tired of "The Final Countdown" from Europe :(

Any suggestions? Bah! Who am I asking?! NO ONE READS THIS!!

Anyway, I thought I would make a review. I came across The Lonely Islands "Incredibad", their debut album. First off I, wasn't too impressed. I have been watching SNL for years and been on and off of the viral video scene on the internet. My aquaitence with The Lonely Island came and went. And just yesterday when I was surfing iTunes I see an album of there's is on sale (for $11.99), I see all the songs and the most popular is "I'm On A Boat (feat. T-Pain)....Youtube has it's Ups (downs because it FUCKING banned me)...but I digress.

Hilarious! And a great cruise song pointed out by my b/f. Needless to say, I got the album moments later on iTunes. But if you're not into that you can get it some other way, I really don't care.

So check it out, The Lonely Island and...

Liddy...Such a Cutie

2009-03-19T08:57:00.002-04:00

I would totally have this man babysit my children. He actually said this, "The bonuses have brought death threats, including one that said executives and their families should be executed with piano wire around their necks." Obviously you take offense to that, but the way he said seemed like he wanted to to the job himself!

Regardless of what you may think, I would hit that.

Maybe, Maybe Not

2009-03-09T13:14:00.001-04:00

I gave a waitress an $11 tip, I hope I made her day.

If I were a rich man

2009-03-09T10:10:00.002-04:00

Bah humbug. An hour makes a difference! I got to spend that extra hour with him last night, that was nice. It's a challenge staying up right now though.

I can't stand how much I'm tolerating this place. I don't even know where to begin. I just want it to end. Now.

I Get This Way

2009-03-04T12:04:00.000-05:00

AH! I knew what else I saw this weekend. It was called "The Legend of 1900"...really f-in' good. SEEAUT!

The Sound and The Fury

2009-03-04T09:23:00.004-05:00

This isn't a title for the 1965 classic starring Julie Andrews and the 1978 B-horror movie - it's a book. Yes! Isn't that great! I've just begun it and I have to say is it a page turner. It's been a while since I've been in English 101 so the literary techniques are foreign to me. I will keep you posted!

Anyways, I have to get on with some other business. I saw quite a few movies in the past days. Juno, Knocked Up (again), Slum Dog Millionaire, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (which I loved) and probably something else that I really didn't care for. All of them were awesome. I just don't feel like talking about them right now. Sorry for the disinterest.

My mind is zapped to hell from watching Lost and 24. I need my ounce of governmental island stranded crack-cocaine every now and again. And do you blame me?

The IMAD Experience

2009-02-24T09:03:00.002-05:00

I reflect back and realized that I should have written down the rest of my dreams. I had a weeks worth of Stephen King novellas! Who other than Louis Carol put his dreams into a novel? I don't know or care but it could have been me!

ME!!!

Hi!!

2009-02-17T12:19:00.002-05:00

I just want to introduce myself.

That's it.

(It's the same person!!)

I'm SO Glad that's finally over

2009-02-17T11:57:00.002-05:00

I have been through whirlwind of emotions for the past week, resulting in the most disturbing dreams I have ever had. Everyday. For 7 days I have had dreams about zombies, werewolves, child molestation by priest, having children, supermarkets, and etc. I had a vivid account of all of them at one point, but I had a binge drinking weekend to forget those dreams.

Sometimes it's better to forget.

If only....Was nothing at all

2009-02-12T22:16:00.002-05:00

I just sat in silence for the past 30 minutes from an argument. I can't reveal what it was about or who it was with, but no one is given a choice in life. The right to choose what they're born into, choose what starter schools they go to, choose their friends or the lack there of.

In life there is no winning no matter how much you scream at the top of your lungs.

The other person just knows they're always right....because they choose to be.

Was it all just a dream?

2009-02-10T08:32:00.002-05:00

Well, yes. It was a dream. What else would I call it?

The first one I really don't remember much of. It was Nick Carter and Paris Hilton having sex. I totally saw boob but it was mostly obligatory shots. She as on top of him , but they changed positions for him to be on top. He was kissing her and at that moment I saw this HUGE cyst on his tongue, and I mean like the size of a marble. After a few moments of noticing this it exploded in her mouth. They stopped. She didn't really know what was going on. He started to squeeze his tongue to get the rest of the puss out. Yea...

The second dream was the most disturbing.

I was in a house that I've never been in with my fiancé, we were dressed for bed. We were in a dimly lit room. I think it was about ankle high with water. I remember showing him some lines on the walls to how far we could have raised it. We got up and started to walk around and in the dark we saw this orange glow in the hall way. I started floating in the air like a ghost or someone carrying it about it with a fishing wire. Regardless we were genuinely scared. I had my arm around his neck as we walk toward is moaning. He soon disappeared and I went walking around the house again. I saw a boy, roughly in his teens in a big oversized winter coat and a black hat on. I kept asking "Who are you? What are you doing here?" He didn't answer. I then turned to see that the front door was open, and asked him again the same questions. He still didn't answer me. I looked over to my left and saw a little boy, 10 or so saying, "I'm gonna be late mom". And then he walked out the door. Shocked by this I saw my fiancé come down the hall walking toward me smiling, so happy to see me. As he was walking, I never took my eyes off the other kid. When my fiancé walked over to embrace me, I asked the kid, "Am I your mother? I must be your mother." All the while I'm holding my fiancé in a warm loving hug, so close I could feel him. My last words were, "Have a good day at school, I love you."

Then I woke up.

Great! Now I won't have to buy him a gift!

2009-01-19T08:58:00.002-05:00

Jeeze, work can be so boring. My weekend life is much more exciting, much more worth while. I've come to realize that no matter how much I watch movies (or the way I obtain them) they still suck ass.

For example, I watched "The Strangers" - a couple in the middle of nowhere are terrorized by a retarded trio of KIDS who couldn't figure out that drowning kittens would have the same effect to feed their thrill. I guess some exchange of sex or blood or something was part of the deal for them to do what they did. I really don't care. I just think sometimes I'm proud to be a minority, I wouldn't have let it escalate the way it did and the movie would have ended in 30 mins.

But there are some jewels out there. For instance, "Taken" with Liam Niesson was AMAZAING! I mean, sadly we all don't have fathers and/or close relatives that work for the government that attain specail skills. Very sad. Anyway it would come in handy. I mean if I went to Europe and was kidnapped and sold into prositution, I would never be found. You know why? Because I don't have a father who can shoot first and ask questions later.

Movies sure do make you think.

Whoa Sheriff! We just missed it!

2009-01-07T16:39:00.002-05:00

Hoooyea, a new year. Same bullshit.

This year, I decided to become truely addicted to something. And I have. I am ashamed to say, but it's fun to do at the same time.

Anyway, I won't be skinner from it so you can cross that guess off the list.

Change is gonna come, oh yes it is.

I Feel Exactly Like This

2008-12-15T16:05:00.003-05:00

I'm not going to describe a thing. We are things. Human, animal, chair. Things. So I'm not going to describe it.

The feeling is a void in human conditioning. Whither it is loss, longing, love, or otherwise, I feel it right now. It's a lot like happiness and a lot like sadness. It's a lot like fear and a lot like anger.

I have wanderlust, an uncomfortable urge of wanderlust. But it has to be for now suppressed by many things. Chains do dig; mine has dug and left scars. It's unfortunate my skin burses easily.

I have to get out, one way or the other.

I Scoffed At This

2008-12-02T19:38:00.004-05:00

I shouldn't have started something I couldn't end.

I mean don't get me wrong, sometimes it's good to talk to someone that you haven't or REFUSED to talk to for some time.

*sigh*

I'm going to refer to The Raconteurs song "Many Shades of Black" to express how I really feel.

"Go ahead, go ahead and smash it (MY HEART) on the floor
Take whatever is left, and take it with you out the door (HE TOOK NOTHING)
See if I cry (I DID)
See if I shed a single sorry tear (BUT HE NEVER SAW THEM)
Can't say that it's been that great
No in fact it's been a wasted worried year (IN-FUCKING-DEED)

Everybody sees
And everyone agrees (THEY DID!!!)
That you and I are wrong
And i'ts been that way to long
Take it as it comes
And be thankful when it's done (I AM, OMG YES I AM)
There's so many ways to act
And there's many shades of black
There's so many shades of black

Let it out, let it all out
Say what's on your mind (I HAVEN'T)
You can kick and scream and shout and say things that are so unkind (I SHOULD!!!)
See if I care, see if I stand firm or if I fall
Cause in the back of my mind, and on the tip of my tongue
Is the answer to it all

Everybody sees
And everyone agrees
That you and I are wrong
And i'ts been that way to long
Take it as it comes
And be thankful when it's done (I AM)
There's so many ways to act
And there's many shades of black
There's so many shades of black"

I think that was well said

This was inevitable

2008-12-01T09:27:00.003-05:00

There is a point in a young persons life that they come to realize all the glitters isn't gold. Nothing is served to you on a silver platter. Nothing is for free. I truely wish all those things were true.

I was under the impression that things would get better.

I guess I just hate my job.

Fucking sucks.

L is for the way you look at me

2008-11-27T19:00:00.004-05:00

I go to NotCot.org quite often (at least a dozen times a day) and I came across something I could not believe but knew that there are people out there who would do this.

Get ready.

Yea, that's right. A tattoo on your heart. On YOUR heart. It's some true love craze
in the UK going on. I don't know about you, but I would get this done...when I'm dead!

Yes, speaking of. After searching the F.A.Q.'s that subject was never brought up, so I sent in a question asking such. I got a response back telling me they're booked and will contact me to set up an apppointment.

What the fuck.

Anyway, I like the concept. You should too!

True Love Tattoos

Letters Of Interest - 11/24

2008-11-24T01:12:00.001-05:00

Dear Pea,

I am finally happy without you.

Love,
Carrot

Letters Of Interest - 11/20

2008-11-19T11:06:00.002-05:00

Dear Pea,

I'll be burning Diablo 2 sometime soon. Along with your hair and your picture. The only ONE I have of you. The only things that link back to you. As well as Sully, he will have to go too. You should find it honoring that my last memories of you will be engulfed in flames.

Love,
Carrot

Letters Of Interest - 11/17 Pt. 2

2008-11-17T22:17:00.002-05:00

Dear Pea,

I guess call it a preference. I thought it was something personal. Well, my guy lets me do it to him now, whenever he sees it fit. Pretty much everytime.

I was just trying to help.

Love,
Carrot

Jacob's Ladder

2008-11-17T11:20:00.002-05:00

That...surprisingly was a great movie. I mean I have seen it, when I was 9 or something. I never fully understood it. All I remembered is Tim Robins' girlfriend (Elizabeth Peña) being raped in the ass by a monster.

Great movie though.

Letters Of Interest - 11/17

2008-11-17T08:48:00.002-05:00

Dear Pea,

I really didn't think much of you while I watched you sleep. You are the only person I know who talked in theirs. I'm glad I only got to see that once.

Love,
Carrot

Letters Of Interest - 11/15

2008-11-15T00:20:00.003-05:00

Dear Pea,

What exactly is a "Nigger Beater"? I zoned out during that tutorial you gave Him and That Guy. But I took the ackward stares as a sign that it was an interesting story. I do hope one day I'll hear it again one day.

Love,
Carrot

Letters Of Interest - 11/14 Pt. 2

2008-11-14T15:49:00.001-05:00

Dear Pea,

I saved you that seat regardless if I knew you were coming or not.

Love,
Carrot

Letters Of Interest - 11/14

2008-11-14T09:06:00.002-05:00

Dear Pea,

Pretty lame huh? Yea you'd be calling me a loser, dumbass, and all of the other names you called me when I knew you. It's interesting to look back on all of this and never recall one nice word. Or any words at all that were nice. I have told you I loved you, I surley remember that. And calling you an asshole in the same breath. Such love.

Love,
Carrot

Letters Of Interest - 11/13

2008-11-13T21:50:00.001-05:00

Dear Pea,

How do I begin? I haven't spoken to you in months, it's felt like years. I can't even remember what our last words were. If they were good, or bad. All I remember is since then I've hated you so much that I'd wish nothing but misery for you.

But I suffered that misery instead and I want to share it with you.

Come, join me.

Love,
Carrot

It's been some time

2008-11-13T20:58:00.001-05:00

Hello my friends! I know I've left my thousands of fans without a word since....sometime in 2007. I have been busy though. Most of that did involve movies and some didn't.

Ok, I just got lazy. And super busy with work. You understand right? Anyway I will be back at it with more doozies. But for now I will post an oldie. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you - Happy Feet.

(I regret nothing)

- Posted on Myspace...thousands of years ago before Sigourney Weaver

"I'm in the middle of "Happy Feet", so far it's a very musical and sweet movie personifying these animals of the natural cold.

To get a mate apparently you have to sing the song that is from your heart. The main character (Mumble) was dropped on in his egg (this is equivalent to a mother doing drugs, riding a horse, or being punched in the stomach).

Once he was born, he couldn't sing. But he could dance, and that's like having the tard in the pack. He was obviously an outcast not only by his inability to sing, but as a fully grown adult he was under-developed.

The elder non-flying ducks thinks he was an abomination from God, and they're also racist lol. Of course kids won't see this because the movie is riddled with music.

Anyway, the movie leads to him finding "aliens" or fisherman, to have something to prove when he goes back home. Since I'm in the middle of the movie, i'm not going to give the ending away, I am not that big of a cock fag. "

Click Movie "Review"

2007-09-03T21:29:00.000-04:00

I don't really have a review for this, granted that it's like a year old. It wasn't a typical Sandler movie and that's a great thing, so see it.

To end this I would like to say...the last 30 minutes made me cry like a bitch so youu were warned.

Have a nice one! And come back for my Captivity review.

Cannibal Holocaust Review

2007-09-03T18:18:00.000-04:00

Besides giving a formal review of this film, I just want to give my general reaction to it.

For thousands of years, people have been born with the powerful sensation of curiosity, adventure and discovery. Along with this, destruction and inane purpose. This movie displayed a great amount of each. First you’re given the impression that four filmmakers were captured and killed in the jungle and are to be found in one piece by another exhibition. This was the case, and they were found – in pieces.

The feelings that surface are of anger and understanding that the natives would do something like this, something so cannibalistic to these people, because it’s their way of life. Their way to survive. Throughout the film, it has a very strong documentary feeling to it that you almost forget that it is in fact a mocumentary and that none of it is real. Then I remember reading the reviews of this movie when it first was released and do understand why it was banned in so many countries. As an avid lover of horror movies, how storytellers and directors try their best in pushing the envelope to what really pushes our buttons; Cannibal Holocaust does this in the best human form I have ever witnessed.

In conclusion, there are numerous animal killings – and I mean a lot. The worst was the snapping turtle whose arms and legs were still moving, still fighting even when its head was cut off. Its insides were still pumping with blood when its shell was cut open. Aside from that there were also the filmed deaths of the four filmmakers, as well as the hell they unleashed on the natives in the jungle that they went there to film. The end resulted in castration, rape, and being beaten to death until there was nothing of them left and questioning who the real cannibals are.

Not to be watched before or after eating, with a loved one or a hardcore animal lover.

Bug Review

2007-08-20T21:24:00.000-04:00

In 1971, we were given “The French Connection”, a gritty crime drama about the cocaine and heroine epidemic that swept the streets of New York. And then in 1973 “The Exorcist” was made and we all know what that one is about. Originally I was going to open, phrasing the director and his vision and then claim I’d never seen any of his movies. I write these ahead of time before I see the movie; bullshitting makes the world go around!

“Bug”, under the production of Lionsgate (who have brought us such films as “Kids”, “The Red Violin”, and “Crash”, just to name a few) rarely disappoints the pubic with the movies that pop out of there. The movie starts off with a preview of the ending, an unidentifiable dead man covered in blood in a blue room wrapped in tin foil. Right off the bat we know that we’re in for a very smart and thrilling story. It then fades to black and presents the landscape of the barren lands of Midwestern state. In the background a phone is ringing – picked up hastily by Ashley Judd; annoyed that there is no one responding on the receiver. This occurs three more times without any answer – suspicion and paranoia kick in. Well for me anyway, people calling and hanging up is on the top of my list that provoke those feelings.

Ashley Judd plays as Agnes, a lonely alcoholic divorcee of an ex-con (who has just come out of jail for attempting to kill her) who works at a lesbian bar and is introduced to Peter Evans (played by Michael Shannon), a shy son of a preacher man who is very perceptive but mysterious all the same. So far 45 or so minutes into the film, the title doesn’t come close into play. Granted I’ve seen the preview in theaters (for months) and was saddened that it was so shortly lived in the theaters, so I have a general idea of what I could possibly be in for. But am I? What are we really in for? Limited dialogue? Dead pan, real world settings of loss and longing? Slow close-ups of inanimate objects that spark unexamined memories? So far, yes. And I am not complaining.

I watched closely, almost attentively to see Ashley work her magic playing the battered woman, doing what she does best I guess (and it never gets old). And Michael, reprising his theater role as Peter has a rugged handsomeness about him that 1. Makes you want to get to know about him and 2. Makes you want to get to know about him even more! And playing Jerry, the abusive ex-convict husband is none other than the devastatingly handsome Harry Connick Jr. whose versatile life leaves us at a blank if he was an actor who became a singer or a singer who became an actor. Regardless he does them both well, and with a brawny new physique to top that.

Now, on to the good part. Yes, the BEST part. After a sweaty night between the sheets, the “bugs” appear. What bugs you ask? I really can’t say, neither can Agnes or Peter. “It’s really small. Well, I guess. What is that? It’s a fucking bug. Well I know that, but what kind of bug? An aphid. An aphid? An Aphid, it’s like a…uh-umm… A bed bug? Uh, no…yea…kinda more like a louse. Louse? Oh, lice. No, not like head lice, like plant lice. Oh like termite. No, that’s more like a tripe. A tripe? A termite. You mean tick? No, a tick’s like a flea, a tripe’s like a termite. What’s a bed bug like? A bed bug. No, I mean what is a bed bug? A bed bug. I thought that was a nickname. This is an aphid. Plant lice? I think so…” And from there things turn for the worse. I have never in my life so many times covered my mouth in disbelief. The chaotic spiral staircase of the human psyche spins so quickly out of control so fast that it’s amazing. Peter is no longer timid or careful with his words, but is erratic, delusional, and obscenely destructive to himself and it’s excruciating to watch. Agnes, though never mentally unsound spins right along Peter without missing a beat.

Ultimately they both see, feel, smell, and hear these “aphids” that have invaded their bodies and come to a conclusion that they only would make the most sense, a sense of comfort in their private hells. All in all, I think “Bug” was a great movie, a contained and the most intimate version of the 1990’s movie “Jacob’s Ladder”, a poetic story of a Vietnam veteran who’s come to a very unfamiliar home. This film was horrific and will literally bug you for days to come.

Celebrity Spotting!!

2007-08-09T21:19:00.000-04:00

I've always been known to wander aimlessly though the city and take in sights, see a few things that I may have over looked, sing loudly in the streets - crazy stuff like that. After getting my new job, I have seen 2 celebrities so far.

Patricia Clarkson

&

Alan Ruck

I have gas at the moment. That is all.

One Great Cop, hahahaha

2007-08-03T12:13:00.000-04:00

“One distinctly different kind of cop movie!”

Hahahaha, I guess that’s appropriate for this 1991 cop drama set in New York City. Michael Keaton and Anthony LaPaglia are two detectives, trying to stay alive in the crime crazy city of drugs, murderers and rapists and oh my! It’s some hard work. It starts off with Keaton and LaPaglia casing this building and asking around about an incident when suddenly they become an incident and are attacked by some coozed up junkies in an elevator but still remain good cops.

Later, things turn for the worse when LaPaglia dies and leaves three little girls orphaned for Keaton and barren Rene Russo to take care of, and that’s when he’ll do anything to be remain One Good Cop. Now, I’ve seen lots of cop related dramas such as Someone To Watch Over Me, Out For Justice, National Lampoon’s Loaded Weapon Number 1 and they all touch on getting the bad guy(s), protecting your family, avenging your family, buying milk, playing with kids, hop scotch, and saving the hostages from Nakatomi Plaza. It’s all the same mess, the common story of the street and thankfully the 21^st century provided us with something out of the status quo.

Nonetheless this movie had so much slang and junkie jive talk that I kept me in tears. “Super freeze, 12 hours of power!” this I assume was crack because that’s where the best sayings come from.

Heroine, nope.
Liquor, nope.
Meth, I doubt it.
Crack is the most magical drug that procures the best conversations.

Anyway, I doubt that it’s very hard to find this movie it’s only 17 years old. One Good Cop is like Mr. Mom meets Batman who works the Night Shift. Bah, I’m done lol.

Blood Diamond

2007-08-02T15:42:00.000-04:00

Darkness, so dark within the depths of the Sierra Leone bush, no one is safe.

Eight years ago amidst the diamond mines held a very dangerous curse, the workers there were forced against their will to find diamonds day and night, unknowingly put in horrific danger. The "Blood Diamond", Djimon Hounsou, a man taken away from his family violently by the government is required to work at a diamond mine in order to later gain his freedom. Little did he know that the mine didn’t only flourish with the earth’s natural riches, but also million-year old virus infecting vampire bats. Soon the other workers became infected and it was up to him and Lenoardo DiCaprio to stop it from spreading.

Okay. Even though that wasn’t really the movie, I wish it sort of was because it would have been equally horrifying. Truly the title in itself explains it all. There is actually conflict in Sierra Leone about diamonds, they’re confiscated from the workers and used to buy weapons of all kinds, and then they are sifted though the system and quoted from the movie: “You [Americans] sell blood diamond too. Who do you think buys the stones? Dreamy American girls all want a story book wedding and a big shiny rock. Like the ones they see in the advertisements of your politically correct magazines…the world wants what have and they want it cheap.” I can see that to be true, an educational channel did a special on it. The name escapes me.

I digress, Hounsou’s character was captured, violently separated from his wife and children, and sent to vast and diamond rich lands to work under a bastard of a leader. And one day he finds a diamond the size of a jawbreaker, priceless piece. The leader of the regime caught him before they were all caught and sent to jail momentarily. Confrontation resulted in denial and threats if Hounsou does not give him the diamond. And from there, there are numerous explosions, towns gutted out by rebels, and Leo DiCaprio’s hilarious Zimbabwe accent.

If this movie doesn’t touch you in some way shape or form, wither it being about the indifferences in Africa, a man trying to get back his family, or white clam chowder over red – then, you are not human. Overall, without revealing anymore this movie is a must see with friends or a cozy significant other.

Cell By Stephen King

2007-07-30T11:28:00.000-04:00

What are the three things you would never leave home without? Your keys, your ID, and most definitely your cell phone. King notes this common question in his 2006 novel “Cell” and makes you wish you would leave it home – when it truly mattered. Luckily for Clayton Riddell, the starving Bostonian artist could not afford one becomes our antagonistic lead character is this story of cellular chaos.

King begins with Riddell reminiscing of the past while gazing at the park goers who are with their significant others and their children. Catching a big break and landing a job at a will known comic book Company, he has strong hopes in reconciling with his estranged wife and son. To celebrate, he felt that he’d treat himself and wait on a rather short but slow line at a Boston Common ice cream truck and this is when the madness begins.

Somewhere, someone releases a pulsating signal that turns anyone who uses a cell phone into a stark raving maniac and Riddell is the dead center of an uprising. Cars are crashing, “the phoners” are hacking whoever’s closest to them to death, biting, spitting, super-human strength….sounds familiar? If so, then you know that the rest of this novel is a violent zombie thriller, which the main characters soul objective is to get to his family if they didn’t become part of the “phoner” madness.

King’s attempt at writing a zombie story was I felt at little weak. I was left at the end with nothing, feeling as though if there was a continuation it wouldn’t make any sense at all. My sense of style in this fashion of the macabre would have been greatly satisfied if all and not some of the secondary characters died. That’s right, I said it. It held the premise of all zombie-like situations; such as ‘how did this happen?’ and ‘how can they be stopped?’ But King created a loop hole, throwing out all the redundancies and giving them telekinetic powers. Wow, good one. Like we’ve never seen that before (Carrie, Dreamcatcher, the list goes on). I, as a writer, know that you have to have some kind of niche, he definitely has that but mixing it up doesn't hurt either.

Immediately the story turns for the obvious, as strong willed as Riddell is, he sets off to find the people whom he cared for the most, parting from his friends and a few drifters. All in all, I felt this book could have been better. The dialogue was weak; the characters had no character, the zombies; though terrifying became tame too quickly, and the Altoids plug was made in extremely bad comedic taste. My recommendation is to wait for the movie, but lets just hope Eli Roth doesn’t muck it up anymore than it already is.

The Night That I Didn't Want To End

2007-07-29T14:24:00.000-04:00

Hey there! It’s Carrot here telling you about the best night ever that I had last night….MY BIRTHDAY!! So as not to turn this blog into a live journal I will slyly give reviews of all the places I stopped at during my night of debauchery! (P.S. – no movies involved)

For hours, I nervously awaited the arrivals of my boyfriend and friends, hoping all of them would show. And they all did! The night was planned flawlessly, or so I had thought. Our first stop was at “Moon House Restaurant” on 67 Bayard Street (between Elizabeth St & Mott St) in Chinatown. Though not difficult to find, sifting though the hoards of tourists that rape Canal St., walking though the cross streets never fail when you want to point A to B without “MovieDVD” whispered in your ear 10 times fast. Once we reached the restaurant, to my surprise (well not really) it was very small and I was glad that there were proper accommodations for me and my 9 homies. The food was delicious and very affordable with more than generous portions for us all to pick off of from each other. And there we regaled about school, the professors and the other assholes that we’re so glad we will never see or hear from again. And also this was a grand time for me to open up gifts and cards. From my jolly Irish giant buddy OB, I received:

(Lied about the whole ‘no movies involved’ HA! And I will review this one very soon)

After the bill it was on to bars and drinking myself stupid at an affordable price. Trekking around the meat packing district of Manhattan, my plan to go to “The Village Idiot” was horribly spoiled when coming under the realization that it was closed down….years ago. But alas, I had a back up bar called “Mother” that was just a block away. Again I was bitch slapped by the pathetic means of an outdated algorithmic system that have workers that I assume are paraplegic, deaf, blind, and dumb. Feeling so hurt and embarrassed I constantly apologized to my crew and knew a great place called “Corner Bistro” on 331 W 4th St., and the great thing about the village are the streets because we went from W14th to W4th is two blocks flat! In the distance, I shuttered in fear when I saw from the small window that the bar was full, $2.50 beer wasn’t on my menu for tonight I guess. Another suggestion I insisted was “The Cubby Hole”, a lesbian bar, located around the corner. The chances of all of us getting in may have been slim since 90% of us were guys. But an enlightened eaves dropper suggested a place with “cheap” beer called “The White Horse Tavern”. Where this is, I do not know or care for two reasons: the guy at the door was an asshole and the beer was not cheap at all. Our party, with our heads low preceded an exodus from the Asshole Tavern.

But what’s this? A bar across the street….empty?? Yes it was, very empty. We all sat down, quietly at first, feeling awkward about just how much this is going to run us up. Moments passed and the bar turned out to be the gift I was truly waiting for. At “WXOU Radio Bar” on 558 Hudson St. (between Perry St. and W11th Ave.), our barkeep Duncan was hospitable and entertaining while serving us shots, birthday shots and more shots. Though the prices weren’t all that much different from “The White Horse Tavern”, the aura around the place was a thousand times better. I was one satisfied customer.

Barely walking strait we proceeded to find the mysterious bowling alley that I had just that day found out about. Thankfully Duncan had gone there and it did exist. Since I was the only one with the address and the only one who knew their way around Manhattan, I did not want to fail like an ass and get all my friends lost in the city like some bad Warriors remake. Along the way there were laughs, adult swings, and a plant that burned like battery acid. After grabbing a quick bite, the bowling alley jumped out at us and I was ecstatic. Unfortunately the first time around we couldn’t get in because not just one of us but a few of us were too inebriated to enter. Scratching my head, I couldn’t think of anything else to do! Once that happened half of my group decided it was time to depart, we said our good nights and thanked them for the amazing night. Ten seconds later, I scream “LETS GO BOWLING!”, and we started back on the busy streets of the Manhattan night to “Bowlmor Lanes” at 110 University Place (between W12th & W13th). Riding up in the man-operated elevator, we knew that this place was going to be good. So good that we had to wait 30 to 45 minutes for a lane to be free. To pass our time we told some jokes, watched some ESPN and ate abandoned pizza and buffalo wings from a near table (the buffalo wings were awesome, I’m giving a thumbs up on that one). Once our number was up we got to bowling. Blondie was on our sides, letting us hit a nine out of ten an odd number of times in a row. Once our second game was up, it was time to pay and go home. Still tipsy at this time, waiting for the subway trains in NYC is worse that waiting for test results for a cancer screening at the bottom of a volcano. Once they did come, we said our goodbyes, and I again thanked them for the great night.

And now here I am, at my desk typing this not even hung over. Sore from doing god knows what (not that!), congested (?), and one year older! So thank you all again who celebrated with me and can’t wait to celebrate some more!

Recap of locations:

Moon House Restaurant

67 Bayard Street

(between Elizabeth St & Mott St)

Corner Bistro

331 W 4th St;

(between Jane St. & 8^th Ave.)

WXOU Radio Bar

558 Hudson St.

(between Perry St. and W11th Ave.)

Bowlmor Lanes

110 University Place

(between W12th & W13th)

Movie review of "Are You Scared"?.....Hell No

2007-07-25T13:42:00.001-04:00

"Two years I've been searching. Two years I've been waiting. Two years I've been planning."

Really? Should have thought of something better than this pile of horse shit.

"Are You Scared?" is the story of 6 strangers trapped in an abandoned warehouse by an unknown captor, but their reason there is quickly explained by the fact that some previous months ago, they all entered into a reality show with the same title. First of all this is hardly the proper title for this movie. A better one would have been "This not a total rip of 'Saw' series, the ending is 10 times more different". If only I were lying.

It begins with a girl chained and handcuffed walking through a dark corridor, talking to someone unseen who has a deep and raspy voice. He tells her that if she doesn't finish a game in 60 seconds, she dies. At that very moment, I totally knew what I was in for. One guy who tries to be the hero, an alpha-female, the cry baby, the stereotypical black guy, and the Olsen twins. Every single death scene echoed a death scene out of “Saw”. Though there is no crime making a movie like this, there should be a crime with dragging an original like "Saw" through the mud, dipping it in tar, wrapping it in barbed wire and then tossing it into the deep sea.

This movie wasn't attention grabbing in any aspect, I became constantly distracted and uninterested in what I was seeing. Hell even hearing it was torture. The constant screaming, crying and yelling almost forced me to turn it off, but if I did this would have never been written. Typically the story of a psychopathic wife beater who was set aflame in bed by his battered wife was done already, it was called “The Burning Bed” and no one else was involved or killed. Leave it to life time to tell this kind of story! So consider yourself lucky that I warned you before you rent this at blockbuster because "Are You Scared?" doesn't do it anything but waste your time.

Hello :-)

2007-07-25T13:41:00.001-04:00

Hello, just to start things off I would like to tell you a few things I'll be doing here. I won't be writing 100% movie reviews. I also love to talk about TV shows and the like from time to time. I have the tendency not only to rip movies a new one, but to also give away certain things. It's not generally my style but I will give a spoiler warning before you read them. I really hope you enjoy and I'm open for any comments of questions.

I'm here to give you the heads up before you waste 2 hours of your life. I'll do that for you.